Without you
by XSanversW
Summary: There's been a month and days since Maggie and Alex break up, and tonight, they had been married for a month.


**Well, hello. Sorry for this -notsorry- warning! there is ''smut'' at the end, but it's light (I think).**

 **I think I'll finish to write 'Don't you dare' and then I'm gonna stop for a while, this thing about Sanvers breaking up it's killing me. I didn't watch the 3x04 yet. I can't.**

 **Enough talking, enjoy it!  
Sorry for the mistakes on this! All are on me!**

Maggie was by herself again, like always ended anyways. She would thought that she was used to this, she was used to say goodbye, but it seems like she's not.

Alex was one of the best things that ever happened to her. Alex was kind, strong, gorgeous, all the good things and just the right amount of bad things for Maggie to love, and that's the exact reason why she let her go.

Alex deserves to be happy and if that happiness depends on having kids, then she has to stick with it. But Maggie didn't want kids, she couldn't have them with her current job. What would happen with the kid if she gets hurt during duty? She doesn't have a family behind her to support her, the kid wouldn't have grandparents, or aunt o uncles. Yes, Alex has a family and they are a family for Maggie herself too, but it's not the same.

There are so many reasons for her not wanting kids. But damn her if she didn't want Alex. She meant what she said about all the firsts. She meant all that. All the 'I love you' all the 'Forever's' but she couldn't be in the middle of Alex and happiness.

So if she has to break up with Alex for that, she would. Actually, she did a little more than a month ago. And it still feels like it was yesterday. The look on Alex's face still hurts as hell. But it's the right thing to do. Although, she can't shake off the feeling that she is wrong about it, because the last time she said that about Alex, she was way too wrong.

And tonight of all nights, Alex is calling. She's been ignoring her calls, and Alex has been ignoring hers, and worked for a while, but tonight they should have been married for a month now, and she is a little drunk on scotch, watching The X-Files and looking at old pictures of Alex and herself on her phone.

And tonight of all nights, Maggie answers the phone and maybe it's because Alex didn't expect Maggie to answer the phone or just because it's all too much, but they don't talk, they just stay silent hearing each other's breathing. And suddenly Maggie is crying and Alex is saying that she is on her way to Maggie's old apartment and Maggie isn't stopping her because she might be selfish, but tonight she needs her, and she knows that Alex needs her too.

She barely notes the time passing, she only comes to herself when she hears a loud knock on the door. She walks out of her very comfy blanket at the sound of the opening of The X-Files.

She takes a deep breath before opening the door, and when she does, she instantly regret it because de sight of Alex Danvers with her eyes all swollen from crying -just as hers might be- and wet from the rain outside it's one the most difficult things she ever looked at.

They stand there, looking at each other, none of them wanting to break the moment. After some seconds, Maggie realizes that Alex is dripping wet on her doorstep.

"Oh my God, Alex. Why are you all wet?" Maggie asks as she steps aside to let Alex enter to the apartment.

"I-I come in my bike" she says as she takes off her leather jacket "Didn't want to wait for a cab" she shrugs.

"Come on, I'll give you a towel" Maggie says turning around trying to remember in which box she put the towels.

"You didn't unpacked"

"Didn't feel like it just yet" Maggie says as she pulls out the towel of one off the boxes "Here" she says handing it to Alex.

"Thanks" Alex says as she goes to the bathroom "Emm Maggie? Do you have sole dry clothes?"

"Oh yeah, of course, there are some in the wardrobe, on my bedroom. Just grab what you want"

"Okay" Alex says with a little smile on her face.

Maggie sits on the sofa, pouring another glass of scotch. This situation was too much. She should have stopped Alex before she came, because now she has Alex on her apartment. On her bedroom probably naked right now. And she can't stop thinking about that while Alex is in her bedroom, she is sitting on the couch watching TV.

She was about to ask Alex if she was okay when she heard a door being closed and Alex coming out of the bedroom with some pj's.

"I've something for you" Alex says as she walks to the door and reaches for a bag -that Maggie didn't notice before- Alex pulls out a plastic bag and she launches it towards Maggie, the last one catching it without problem, and immediately, she opens it.

"Alex, you didn't have to"

"It's okay, it's yours. You wear it better than me anyways" Alex chuckles.

"Thanks" Maggie says still looking at the 'Hello Sunshine' shirt that she loves so much. "Alex, I-"

"I don't want to talk about it now. I don't want to discuss or think or anything. I don't want to remember that I lost you, or how I'm living my life without waking up by your side. I just want to cuddle and it seems that we are watching The X-Files tonight, so if that's okay with you…" Alex says finally looking at Maggie.

Maggie smiles "Scotch?"

"Yeah, I'd love to. Now, come here" Alex says opening her arms.

Maggie looks at her with a questioning look "If I recall, I was the big spoon" she says crossing her arms over her chest.

"Things change" Alex shrugs "Now, come here" Maggie smiles and slowly she makes her way into Alex's arms, throwing an arm around Alex's waist, her head against Alex's shoulder. The last one instantly holding her tight, her cheek against Maggie's head.

God, she missed this so much.

Alex's body against hers, Alex's arms around her, holding her. She told herself that she has to enjoy this, but she can't stop thinking that maybe this is the last time they can be like this. And that, plus the fact that today they had been married for a month, Maggie felt miserable.

And even before she notices that she is crying, Alex is already holding her tighter and whispering sweet things to her and Maggie just can't take it.

So she does what she has to do to make Alex shut up.

She kisses her.

And she is being selfish. She knows she is, but she really doesn't care right now because Alex is kissing her back and Maggie is cupping Alex's face, fingers buried in Alex's hair, and suddenly Alex is putting Maggie in her lap and gripping Maggie's ass against her own hips.

They make love that night, and it's painful, and desesperated and beautiful. Just beautiful. Each one taking her time with each other.

Maggie worshipping Alex, dragging her over the edge again and again but not letting her come until Alex begged for it. Begged for Maggie to touch her. For Maggie to fuck her. And when Maggie finally took pity on her and slid her fingers deep inside Alex and her tongue hard against her clit, her entire body tensed, exhaling a long breath, a mix of pleasure and relive. It didn't take long for Alex to cum, and when she did, she did it screaming Maggie's name.

Maggie climbs all her way up, till she reaches Alex's side, leaving wet kisses all along her way, being the last one on her lips.

"Sorry" Maggie says burring her head on Alex's neck.

"About what?" Alex asks giving Maggie a kiss on the top of her head.

"About calling you, and making you come-"

"I'm not complaining about the fact that you made me come" Alex says smirking.

"Nerd"

"I know you love me" Alex says without thinking, and Maggie notices the exact moment when Alex realizes what she said. And before Alex could take that back, Maggie speaks.

"Yeah, I do"

"You know I love you too, right?" Alex asks.

"I know" Maggie stays silent and Alex knows that she is reuniting valor to say something, so she waits for her. "Can we just go back to what we had?"

"My thought about having kids hasn't changed, Mags. And I'm assuming that yours hasn't either"

"I know… we just can't go back"

"And we can't do this anymore" Alex says, her voice cracking in the last word.

"I know" Maggie whispers, moving away from Alex.

"I have to go" whipping a tear on her cheek, Alex gets up. She gets dressed slowly, like she didn't want to go.

Alex walks to Maggie's side and leaves a sweet kiss on Maggie's cheek and heads towards the door.

"I love you, Alex"

"I love you too, Mags" she says as she closes the door behind her.

"Forever" Maggie whispers to an empty room.


End file.
